Positive Parenting:
Helping Our Families Thrive
How we raise our children is, to a large extent, based on how we were raised. If we were raised with love, belonging, and high expectations, we are more likely to have strong self-esteem and emotional resilience, important factors in finding happiness—and we have a good chance of passing those same traits on to our children.
Those less fortunate may spend years in therapy trying to recover from childhood wounds - and may end up inflicting those same hurts on their own children if they aren't careful.
Those less fortunate may spend years in therapy trying to recover from childhood wounds - and may end up inflicting those same hurts on their own children if they aren't careful.
"Who would consider turning an untrained surgeon loose in an operating room? Yet we 'operate' on our children every day."
In this way, child-rearing patterns get passed automatically from one generation to the next, mostly without parents realizing what they are doing. That's probably what our parents did. Many people operate under the assumption that since parenting is a natural adult function, we should instinctively know how to do it - and do it well. The truth is, effective parenting requires study and practice like any other skilled profession.
Yet once we become aware that some of those patterns and practices turned out not to be for our own good - in spite of what our parents thought - we can change our family history.
We can stop repeating harmful inherited habits and learn to do better. We can begin to rewrite the "script", erasing fear-based parenting styles, and replacing them with uplifting attitudes, strategies and skills that support healthy development.
Those who suffered early on can become wonderful parents to their own children—and heal themselves in the process. It takes dedication, patience, and the willingness to learn new skills, and it's definitely worth it.
A mother told me after attending my presentation, "I have integrated these principles into all aspects of how we work as a family. Now we are thriving!" These supportive, loving everyday heroes are creating a new model of family —a "winning family"—in which both they and their children can flourish.
If you want to join them in making our families stronger, use this site to get informed. The tips in the sidebar can help you get started.
“As a clinical psychologist specializing in adults with chronic pain, I see the wreckage in people's lives caused by childhood neglect and abuse. The need for positive parenting is urgent.”—Ani Liggett, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist and author
TIP #4: Keep learning and growing.
Read my books, The Winning Family and On the Wings of Self-Esteem to help pave the way to more positivity for you and your family.
Or contact me today for an in-person presentation!
Or contact me today for an in-person presentation!
Tip #1: Stop Trying to be Perfect
Perfectionism is a booby trap for children and parents alike, especially for women. But there is hope! This video, Let Go of Perfectionism, can help you become a "recovering perfectionist."
Watch more videos
Watch more videos
Tip #2: Focus on the "Big Picture"
Positive parenting can begin with a clear view of the "big picture"—the optimistic vision that motivated you to start a family. What was it...? Remember it and write it down. You might even post it on your refrigerator.
That vision can guide everything that happens in your family on a day-by-day basis. It can sustain you through the rough times and help add meaning and purpose to your life. All the seemingly little things you do every day can contribute to the success of that powerful goal.
That vision can guide everything that happens in your family on a day-by-day basis. It can sustain you through the rough times and help add meaning and purpose to your life. All the seemingly little things you do every day can contribute to the success of that powerful goal.
Tip #3: Before you speak, think not just about what you are saying, but how you're saying it, and its effect.
"No-fault" feedback is based on mutual respect, kindness and concern about the relationship. When well-delivered, it changes behavior and feels like a gift. Read the "No-Fault Feedback" article about how to change "your fault" language, which can provoke defensiveness, into language that can inspire change. This is an article from my newsletter.