In New Zealand, nurses worked with parents who had been abused as children. Every week they gathered for a cup of tea, a lecture on child-rearing, and an exercise called the "WEATHER REPORT." This is "The Grand Finale" at my presentations. This is a fun way to give your kids the attention they deserve. There's only one rule: The person receiving the attention is in charge of the experience and should give feedback. ("Stop that." "Harder." "Softer."  "More!"))

• Snowflakes-Tap your fingertips lightly on the other person's head, shoulders, and back.


• Raindrops-Tap your fingertips simultaneously and harder than you did before. (Remind the receiver to speak up if it doesn't feel good.)


• Hailstones-Same as raindrops, but with greater intensity. (Remember you are doing this to "inflict" pleasure, not pain.)


• Thunderclaps-With cupped palms, clap your hands across the person's back and shoulders. It makes a good noise. Do not slap.


• Lightning Bolts-The outside part of your hand moves back and forth across the shoulder muscles. Stay away from the bones.


• Eye of the Tornado-Circle your thumbs across the person's shoulders and down either side of the spine.


• Tidal Wave-Slide your hands in long strokes up and down their arms and across the back.


• Calm After the Storm-Rest your hands on their shoulders and breathe deeply. Slowly lift your hands about one-half inch and pause.


This is a sweet bedtime ritual for youngsters-good for connecting, relaxing, and dissolving the tensions of the day. Your kids will ask for it by name.

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© 2011 Louise Hart, Ed.D.